I know you are but what am I?

I attract the crazies. I know you think you do, but no, it is me.

I went out to grab a sandwich at a local shop for lunch; they have one of those "stand in one line and whichever employee is available next will help you" situations. So I am standing there waiting for someone to finish helping the people in front of me, so I can order my regular "3-cheesesandwich on rye, only except for three different cheeses can I just have the Havarti cheese"? Yes I realize that reduces the cheese by one-third, but no one actually needs 1 1/2 inches of cheese on a sandwich.

So anyhow, I am waiting there when a woman two people behind me says "Well I think I am just going to go ahead of you if you aren't going to order anything."

beat

I reply "I am just waiting for someone to be available to help me."

She continues to shoulder her way to the front of the line, looking at me like I am stupid. Now I know I work in Pioneer Square, home of the professionally crazy (aka our homeless veterans suffering fromPTS ) but she was not one of those. This was a Mom looking lady who can afford to have someone else cut and color her hair (in other words a 40-something woman pushing 200lbs with an expensive blond foil job). She stands in line in front of me, trying to get the attention of the harried teenager in the clutches of The Lunch Rush.

The woman behind me (and in front of he line-jumper just moments before) said "I guess she is really hungry."

So while the Line Jumping Lady (LJL)was distracted giving her order to someone who was busy helping someone else, another guy behind the counter took my order. I wanted to give him a little hug, I think he observed this whole thing out of the corner of his eye, and decided the LJL could just wait.

The lunch counter staff helped me and the lady behind me and the one behind HER before LJL. By the time they got to her she was absolutely red and vibrating with anger. I don't know why she stuck around. I would be surprised if she didn't get a little spit in her Turkey Club. You don't want to piss off underpaid teens who have access to your food. Everyone knows that.